Don't feel

I've been pretending that i feel nothing. And how can anyone prove otherwise?  I walk around with my automatic half smile and regulated demeanor. I think this gig is becoming second nature to me.

Problem is, i hurt inside. But i can't show it and i can tell anyone.. and ordinarily in times like this, I could cut myself and get over it. But i must not. Because if i don't cut, then who can say I'm feeling any pain? And if i don't laugh, who can say i find this to be humorous? And i don't jump, who can say that I've got suicide in my head?
No one.
And that's my best companion... no one.

Comfort

Trying to figure out
If it's love or my dismay.
I guess I just need to know
Do I give up or I should wait?

I just want to understand
Why the fuck you couldn't stay,
Together, we made so much sense
But you left anyway.

I'll put my heart back into
The freezer from which it came,
Lock it, cast it in cement,
And throw the key away.

Whether you love me or not,
I can't yet ascertain.
So I'll settle into the comfort of
Not having a heart to break.

(12/10/14.   A.Poor)

Unfurled

Hating myself
That's all I can do.
Trying to remember
Why I loved you.

Ignore

Your disinterest
Is fucking obvious.
I don't need your lies
To get by
So just stop.