Trying To Forget Scott

I met Scott in November of 2009. A few good dates... my heart was ready to be his by the end of December when he accepted me as his girlfriend....
A few great months passed. Kids fell for him just as hard as i did.... and then mid-april rolled around and... things got rocky.
Two months ago, May 16th, my heart was torn out of my chest, thrown into the road and run over. Since then I've had a few guys fall head over heels for me... but I can't let myself let go of Him.
----hours pass----
You wouldn't believe what getting rid of his belongings has done to me. I feel freed, to some degree.
A few weeks ago i asked Him if i could drop off his things at his work and he freaked out, "I don't care what you do anymore, throw them away, mail them, i don't care" He told me. So I told him i'd throw them away, it'd make it easier.
I then decided I'd burn his things, take pictures, develope them and mail THAT to Him. hahaha. I kept procrastinating on burning his things, but it was something i really wanted to do. just didn't get arouind to it. So today I was up in Santa Fe getting proof from my former employer that i am no longer working there and i realized... I still have His things in my car... I'm gonna drive by one of the branches of his bank.. I should just drop the box off.
So I arrived at the bank, gave the teller his stuff, asked her to please give it to him. She said that was fine. And as soon as i left the building there was RELIEF in my soul.

Thats not the only battle i'm fighting though. Juan, Father of my children, seems to think that we have a future as a couple again. Now I know he's trying to sober up but I hate him.

Any way... i'll set down the razorblades for a little while and hope all works out. This concludes this particular blog.